Sunday, February 24, 2008

Antoinette is with her family!!!

Well I am back home again after meeting Antoinette's family. To say that hurt a lot would be about the way I would sum it up. I felt sorry for the family. They had no idea what was coming and I have to say many it was a little overwhelming. I am sure they did not expect to get all of this dumped on them. I mean they had everything in details up to the last minute before we left. I think they were prepared for the worst on got the best. I know they did not know how to handle all of this. I hope I do not have too many of those adoptions. I definitely prefer getting to know the parents before hand. The exchange of information is then not so intense.

Here is what I do know. I know they are from some place near Barcelona. They have waited for three years for a daughter and wanted to name her.....Laura. They were not sure of the name yet. She has a five year old brother whose name is......Anton. Both her parents speak some English and so I tried to explain but I am sure that had many questions. Antoinette for her part did not cry at all. After a while she warmed up to her brother and the two of them played and were chasing one another. Anton was really tender with her and that was very sweet to watch. He held her hand and touched her face a lot.


I could sense they were wanting to leave and so I said goodbye and Antoinette was not too concerned about me leaving. I know she did not know what was happening. I think having Anton will help her so much because she loves being around other kids. From what happened tonight it would seem they have no desire to come back to visit us. It is in accordance with the Chinese government's suggestion that the break be clean even though attachment theory is clear that the best for the child is to have a period of overlap with the previous care takers and the new parents. In Russia they require a two week period of bonding. I honestly wished they would do the same here. It would make me feel better that is for sure.


So for the first time in more than two years and almost six months Antoinette will not be part of my life. It was weird coming home and knowing she was not my responsibility any more. The nannies had already moved her crib into another room and her spot was empty :( We will get the smaller room ready with new cribs and we will paint it soon.


Life moves on and now we wait for one of the next three who are currently matched to be adopted. I wonder who it is going to be? Sarah/Lily, Benjamin/Anthony or Gabriel? I already got a request for taking on two new SB babies. So stay tuned. Life is exciting!


Life, Love and Laughter,


Amanda
Starfish Foster Home


http://www.chinesestarfish.org/


http://chinesestarfish.blogspot.com/


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Amanda! I wish I could give you a big hug. I bet this was the hardest day of having the foster home so far. The Little family is praying for you tonight, and also for sweet Antionette.

Anne and Jack Little
Knoxville, TN

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

That is so great that Antionette now has her 'forever' family but I can only just imagine how hard it is for you all after looking after her for so long... lots a love to you all...

Anonymous said...

What joyful news that she has a familiy now. I know you will miss her as you have been her Manda for 2 years. It is hard to let our children go when the time comes but that is part of being a parent. They may surprise you and keep in touch after all. What matters most is a child who had no one and nothing now has friends and famiy who adore her. They will adjust to each other and it sounds like they wanted her very, very much.

Mob said...

May God richly bless you Amanda for the sacrifices you make for these kids. Your heart must break every time one leaves.

Laura Beth said...

Amanda, I can't even imagine the emotions you must have been feeling to let your sweet Antoinette go with a family you do not know. I bet that once they have time to absorb what has happened and to look over all the information and pictures you gave them of Antoinette's little life that they will make an effort to contact you again with updates. I am sure that your love for Antoinette and the excellent care she received from you is apparent not only in the scrapbook, but in the little person she has become! I will keep you in my thoughts,
Laura Beth

redmaryjanes said...

You are a tremendous person Amanda.

Please check your e-mail. I have sent you some news that I think is pretty exciting : )

sb said...

Amanda, you have defined bitter-sweet, a heart full and empty, tears of joy with a broken heart. I hope all the good wishe you are receiving heal your heart a little bit. Sending you all good wishes, Suzanne

Anonymous said...

Amanada, My heart absolutely breaks for you. In fact my heart has been hurting so much since you first posted this that I didn't even know if I could come back and read this blog anymore....and I have been reading it since you first started it.

We just have to keep telling ourselves that the bottom line is that Antionette has a family now and that was the thing we all wanted for her.

Anonymous said...

I am a foster mom in the U.S. so I have an idea of what you are feeling in letting go of Antoinette. But nothing can take away all the wonderful things you did for her for the past 2 years. You have helped make her the person she is. Don't be suprised if she comes looking for you when she is older, even if her new parents don't keep in touch now. Maybe after she has bonded to them they will be more open to sharing her with you. You are an angel.