A mother's concern

I sent out the letter about adoptive parents recently and I got some really interesting comments. I love to get emails and read the stories you send. They are often about your own experiences with adoption and they are usually exactly what I need. I sat with Heather on my lap a few days ago and I wondered if she was going to find a family who will love her. I am not sure if her hands are going to have permanent damage from spina bifida, but I hope like with the others there is family who is going to want her in spite of that. She has got the sweetest personality. She is so smart and she watches so carefully and is extremely loving. Soon after that I got the most inspiring letter from an adoptive mom and how she and her husband got to adopt and love an extreme special needs son who was later diagnosed with autism. The opportunity they got to say no to his adoption and how they decided to do it anyway. She sometimes dreams of him at age 22 healthy and whole. She also talks about the blessing he has been to the rest of the family and how her other children have learned to help their brother. It gave me such hope that Heather will have the same kind of loving spread thick on her.

So here is another comment I got and I thought I would share with you. I think that it explains so well the frustration with so many adoptive parents who are waiting for children from all over the world.

I can say that I feel very helpless as an adopting mother. I'm used to knowing where my baby is, I controlled what food I ate and knew that I was getting excellent prenatal care. I felt like I was doing everything possible to ensure my baby's health and well-being. Right now I feel like my baby is out there needing me and I can't get to her. I worry and wonder about whether or not she is born, whether or not she has enough to eat and whether or not someone holds her when she cries.

So you can imagine the frustration parents feel when the days turn into weeks and months and then a year. Adoption is such a long waiting game. Not being able to help is one of the hardest things to do. Recently I got a letter from a family who has been matched and then found out that their daughter who has VSD, a heart condition, got a lung infection which is so rampant in China right now and was having such difficulty breathing that she was turning blue. Babies with heart conditions are affected by this much more severely that healthy babies. Why do I know? I had been there and done that. Seven of the babies had been in the hospital and I understood how serious that can be. What do you do and how can you help? The first thing you want to do is to jump in and help which is such a natural instinct for a parent, but is it often impossible.

As I sit with all these healthy children in my home I hope each day that their parents will come and get them. I have eight babies that can go home today if I had my wish, at least Jonas and Antoinette should be leaving soon. The other six will take at least another six months. I would love to get some more babies who have some special needs that I can do something about.

Love and laughter,
Amanda
Feeding, loving, hugging and kissing the 15 I have here
chinese.starfishthrower@gmail.com